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Jesus said the second greatest of all the commandments is to love thy neighbor. He taught that we are to love even our enemies. Divine love, or charity, is greater than both hope and faith – Paul so taught. We can sometimes love our enemies better than we love our own spouse. Those whom ought to be the closest to us, those who promised and swore before God to love and cherish us, are sometimes the ones we love the least. Little children, such things ought not to be.

Hate springs quickly from the human heart. It doesn’t have to be taught. Whenever we are provoked, hatred rises up. But love isn’t that way. Love never springs up instantly. Nobody “falls” in love. Infatuation and lust are quick to appear, but not true love. Love is not an unbidden natural response. It is something that must be acquired. It must be pursued, sought for, and attained.

It is really sad when a wife says, “I don’t love you,” to her husband. It is just as sad when a husband tells his wife that he never did love her. Sometimes one will say that they made a mistake, and married the wrong person. Those statements are supposed to be offensive – inflicting hurt on the other party. But in truth, they are an admission of failure.

The person who says that is really admitting that he or she didn’t learn to love their spouse. The Christian thing to do is to learn to love people – even your enemies. If you haven’t acquired love for your spouse, then you haven’t acted as a Christian. Please let me state this without you being insulted: If you don’t love your spouse, you are admitting you have failed to live as a Christian.

There is a common misconception in society. It is not only common, but dangerous. Society thinks love is an emotion. It is not. It certainly has emotional contexts and connotations, but love is not an emotion. It is a decision. You decide to love someone. If you say to your wife, “I don’t love you;” you are saying you have decided not to love her. How does that statement compare with the truth of Scripture?

I John 4:20 asks, how can you love God, and not love your brother or sister? Can you love God and not love your spouse? Let’s look closer at some of the verses alluded to earlier. This is God’s Word, and it is for us to implement in our lives. We are to keep His Commandments.

In Matthew 22:34-40, Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment. It was an interesting question. We already know the answer, so the question doesn’t stump us today. But it was a hot issue in Jesus’ time. Some said circumcision was the greatest commandment, because it set God’s people apart from the world. Others said the Sabbath, as no other people had a day of rest. Still others said the sacrifices and ceremonies of the law were the greatest, for they covered the sins of the people. The Jews were divided into camps, each declaring they knew what was the greatest commandment. They tempted Jesus to take sides in this debate.

Jesus said love was the greatest commandment. If Jesus had said one of the other commandments, He would have been rejected by those who held that their particular opinion was the right one. But He rose above the debate to give the true answer – one all sides had overlooked. My topic is marriage here. In the midst of debates and arguments in the home, somebody has to rise up above the din and implement the greatest commandment. Your spouse is your neighbor. Love your neighbor.

Jesus said to love God, and your neighbor. It is easy to love God. He is good all the time. He doesn’t get on our nerves. He doesn’t yell at us. He is always loveable. Loving your marriage partner, well that isn’t always easy. But he or she is your neighbor.

Think about it. How can we love God? He is so different from us. He is a Spirit; we are flesh. He is sinless; we are thoroughly infused with sin. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, as far as the heaven is above the earth. He is eternal; and we are temporal. He is unlimited; we are beset with limitations. We are not much like God. How can we love Him? Yet we do.

If we can love God when we are so different from God, how much easier should it be to love another human being, the one you married? We have many more similarities with our spouse than we do with our God. We are both flesh and blood; we live side-by-side with them. They are much more like us than our God is. Can we decide to love them?

Matthew 5:43-44 is where Jesus told His followers that they cannot just love neighbors; He said to love your enemies. This again proves that love is not an emotion. Nobody naturally “feels” like loving an enemy. You have to decide to love them – despite what they have done or are doing to you. It is the Christian thing to do. If a child of God can decide to love their enemy, why can’t they decide to love their spouse? Is their spouse their enemy? It doesn’t matter whether they are or are not. Our only response to them is to love them. What if they don’t love me back? It doesn’t matter. Your enemies probably won’t love you back either, but you are still to love them. Remember, love is a decision.

Too many people are confused. They have been told that love is a many-splendored thing. They think they fall in love. They think love is over when the “spark” is gone. They feel love is some giddy, emotional attachment. They are wrong. Love can have wonderful emotions connected with it. But the decision to love is not an emotional decision. It is a choice. If you base your choice of who to love on emotions, you are going to have a lot of trouble in life. Base your decisions on higher things than emotions – duty, commitment, responsibility, service, and such noble criteria.

God’s Word commands in Colossians 3:19: husbands, love your wives. It teaches in Titus 2:4 that wives are to love their husbands. These are not biblical suggestions. This isn’t optional. This is the Word of God for your life. If you are married, decide to love your spouse. Decide right now. Whether you feel like it or not, choose to love the person you swore before God that you would cherish and honor in sickness and in health, till death.

There are many things I intend to cover in subsequent articles about Christian marriage. I remind you that the purpose behind it is to demonstrate the love of God for His people. Marriage is designed to make you holy; even more than it is designed to make you happy. I have biblical guidelines to present later in this series that will improve your marriage. But the number one step in this is to choose to love your spouse. That choice means it doesn’t matter what he or she does. It doesn’t matter whether they are nice to you. It doesn’t matter whether physical relations are good or absent. Love is constant and abiding. Love is deliberate. You are supposed to love your wife. You are supposed to love your husband.

Deuteronomy 24:5 is a very interesting scripture. A newlywed husband was to spend the first year of marriage working to cheer his wife. During that time, he could not even go to war. This command was given when the children of Israel were a warrior nation. They were about to conquer Canaan. For most of the Old Testament era, Israel needed soldiers to fight in real battles. But here was a commandment forbidding young soldiers from fighting for a year after getting married. Why? God was telling newlyweds to work on making each other happy. The marriage relationship needed to be started on a good foundation. Separation necessary for warfare was not good for building a life together. So no war for one year.

Since this is a commandment of God, it is reasonable to assume that making your marital partner happy pleases God. Our Lord cares whether you have a good marriage or not. He made provision in His law when able-bodied men were needed on the front lines of the battles. He is concerned that we have the opportunity to be happily married.

We don’t fight those kinds of physical wars in the body of Christ today. But the principle might still have validity. We are still to work at making our spouse happy. We may not have done it as well as we should have in the first year of marriage, but it isn’t too late. We can still dedicate time and effort, not to please ourselves, but to make our wife or husband happy. This requires daily sacrifice. To really live you must die. To receive, you must give. To be loved, you must love. It isn’t easy. We are mistaken if we think it should be easy. It is sometimes hard to love someone. But it is your Christian duty, and the commitment you have made. It pleases God when you love one of His children.

There are many more scriptures about love and loving others. The Bible is a book about love. We don’t have the time or space to cover them all. But let’s look again at one more. I John 4:20-21 says: “If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.” So as a Christian you must love your brother – even if he is your husband. Again, this is not a suggestion; it is a biblical command.

Remember, marriage shows us that we are called to yield at times to another, to find joy, happiness and fulfillment in giving love to another person. The true beauty in Christianity is in learning how to love. Very few situations test our Christian faith as much as marriage. If we can decide to love in that circumstance, we are demonstrating true love. Loving your spouse is a highly-spiritual act.

Shortly after his inauguration, President Obama began to call for the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act – a law defining marriage as between one man and one woman. He immediately nominated pro-homosexual advocates to key government positions, and extended government benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees. He declared June to be “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month,” but refused to observe the National Day of Prayer.

In April 2009, in Ankara, Turkey, U.S. President Barak Obama said America is no longer a Christian nation, but “a nation of citizens who are bound by ideals and a set of values.” Sadly, he’s right. But when we divorce our values and ideals from the Word of God and the eternal principles of godliness, then they are based only on the whims of fallen, degenerate man. What we perceive in our own minds to be right and just, may be wrong and unjust when compared to the standard of the Bible. How does our society measure right and wrong when we compare it to no fixed standard? Homosexuality used to be wrong but not anymore. Gay marriage used to be abominable, but now is enshrined with legal sanction. Adultery formerly merited condemnation; now it is overlooked – in governors, even presidents. Divorce, and especially multiple divorces, was once considered a shame; now it is accepted as normal.

Our country was once tremendously blessed because our values were originally derived from biblical principles. Now our values are not fixed; they are flexible and are based only on human opinion. Yes, we are no longer a Christian nation. Our president spoke the truth in Turkey. An article in the April 10, 2009 issue of Human Events referred to a recent Newsweek public opinion poll which found that 62% of Americans do not think of America as a Christian nation. That is approaching a 2/3 majority. Yet Psalms 9:17 says that the nations that forget God will be turned into hell.

All you have to do is to look around. The moral fabric of our society is frayed. Most people do not realize it, but our society is not wholesome. It is not a good environment to raise children. Our young people are constantly bombarded with the message that non-marital sex is fun and healthy; that immoral lifestyles are not only acceptable, but equal to or better than biblical families; that material gain and pleasure are the only important goals in life.

Divorce, sex outside of marriage between a man and woman, excessive consumption of alcohol and drugs, uncontrolled spending and spiraling debt, and disregard for all forms of authority are rampant. Lazy and irresponsible children are growing up into lazy and irresponsible adults. The Apostle Paul in I Corinthians 13:11 said that when he became a man, he put away childish things. People aren’t doing that in our society. Adults spend money they cannot afford to buy themselves toys.

Rather than just go on a tirade about the moral breakdown of our society, I’d like to point out how we got here. There are numerous factors that led to the breakdown. Maybe if we understand them, we can be alert to prevent them from entering into our culture. American society is abandoning biblical morality at an ever-increasing speed. How did this happen? What factors led to this condition? There are several.

1. A Massive Shift of Cultural, Personal, and Sexual Values.

An earthquake occurs when there is a shift in the tectonic plates beneath the earth’s surface. But modern dictionaries say that a secondary definition of earthquake is a disruptive event; an event that causes an upheaval in society, politics, or somebody’s life. Our society suffered a massive cultural earthquake beginning in the mid-1960s. A generation came on the scene that was very different from the preceding generations that grew up in the 1940s or the 1950s. This new generation felt they needed to challenge everything, to question authority, to glory in personal choice. Self-fulfillment became more important than sacrifice. In fact, society devalued self-sacrifice, restraint, authority figures, etc.

Examples abound, but I cannot take the time to list them. Our society fulfilled Isaiah 53:6; we have all turned after our own ways. In changing the mores and morals of our world, we have removed the ancient landmarks. See Proverbs 22:28. Some do that. See Job 24:2. Because we are living in the last days, it should be no surprise that Paul’s prophecy in II Timothy 3:2 has come to pass. People today are lovers of their own selves. But in the Body of Christ we don’t live that philosophy. Romans 15:1 teaches us that we ought not to please ourselves.

Perhaps one of the worst aspects of our society is the damnable attitude that exists. An attitude of rebellion is prevalent in our society. You see it in the very clothing and piercings and tattooing of the world. You see it in their approach to life. Rebellion against authority is prevalent in the present, evil world. Remember that your attitude is the determining factor in the blessings of God on your life – both now and in the coming millennial kingdom.

There are other wrong attitudes in society. First, there is the “I don’t care” attitude. This was Cain’s attitude about murder. When asked about his brother, he basically said “I don’t know and I don’t care.” He did know; but he didn’t care. This attitude is seen when people hear what the Bible says about how they should live their lives, how they should dress, how they should act, and they deliberately decide to ignore God’s Word. “I don’t care what the preacher says; this is what I am going to do!” Four times in Exodus, and three times in Deuteronomy, the Lord through Moses called the children of Israel “stiffnecked.” That is, they would not bow their heads to God. They did not acknowledge His lordship. They knew the commandments, but they chose not to obey. In II Chronicles 30:8, Hezekiah was told: don’t be stiffnecked, but yield.

Second, there is the “it’s just a matter of opinion” attitude. This denies that there is any real difference between truth and falsehood. Everything is relative. One man’s truth is another man’s error. “Maybe it is wrong for you, but I don’t see anything wrong in it for me.” “What is true for you might not be true for me.” “If I don’t feel bad, it must not be wrong.” But Christian truth is objective, never-changing and unshakeable. The Bible says that homosexual conduct is sin. That is not a matter of opinion. It is a matter of unchanging truth. Men should have short hair; women should have long hair. Men should dress in men’s apparel, and women should dress in women’s apparel. Those are not opinions. Your opinion or society’s opinion does not matter.

Malachi 3:6 states the eternal verity that God does not change. And in Deuteronomy 32:4, God is truth. Isaiah 65:16 twice calls Him a God of truth. Since God never changes, then truth never changes. Truth is not just a matter of opinion. And even if the issue is, somehow, a matter of opinion, you would still be better off if you submitted. If the pastor is wrong in preaching against lipstick, miniskirts or whatever, you would lose nothing by submitting. In fact, you would gain. Your meek and submissive spirit is something God will bless. It isn’t the end of the world if you don’t do something the pastor preaches against. Mere submission for the sake of crucifying your spirit is a good thing.

Finally, there is the “I’m too busy” attitude. This is when people think they are too busy to do right, to serve God, or to work for Him. We live in a very fast-paced, hectic world. But people always find time to do the things that are important to them. People who are too busy to come to church, or to work in the church departments, are really saying that these things are just not that important to them.

If you are too busy to spend time in prayer and meditation, if you are too busy to read your Bible daily, if you are too busy to help your brother or your sister, then you need to re-evaluate your life. How much time do you waste in front of a TV, or a computer, or with mindless games? If people would devote just half of that time to Bible reading and prayer, we’d have a greater church. The things you have to do always expand to fill all of your available time. Rare is the person who truly has disposable time on their hands. Most of us have to make time for the things that truly are necessary. Titus 3:14 proclaims we should be doing good works for necessary purposes. There are other rebellious attitudes that are wrong, but we need to move on.

2. The Development of Disposable Marriages

Our society has accepted polygamy. Men and women now can have multiple spouses – instead of several at once, we now have them one at a time. Divorce one spouse and marry another. It is serial polygamy. Divorce rates are now nearly 50% of all first-time marriages- higher for second, third, and fourth marriages. And born-again Christians have a divorce rate equal to or higher than the population at large.

People think nothing of divorce anymore. Yes, there are biblical grounds for divorce, but it is because of sin. Most divorces are not because of biblical grounds. Marriage is supposed to be a life-long covenant. People don’t see it that way anymore. They swear “till death do us part,” but they part whenever things don’t go well in the home. Since the mid-1960s, the divorce rate has more than doubled; out-of-wedlock births have skyrocketed from one in twenty to one in three; the percentage of single-parent homes has more than tripled; the number of couples cohabiting without marriage has increased more than elevenfold; and there is an increasing phenomenon of fathers deserting their wives and children without any negative consequences.

Divorce is a bad thing. In true abuse, or in a situation where there has been adultery, divorce may be the best option. But divorce just because you aren’t in love anymore is not biblical. Here are six reasons why I am against the concept of disposable marriages:

• A. God hates divorce. Malachi 2:16. That, my friends, is truth.
• B. You are breaking a solemn vow you made before God and human witnesses. The Bible forbids us breaking any vow – especially one made before God. Ecclesiastes 5:4.
• C. It doesn’t bring happiness. In general, people who divorce and remarry are no happier than they were in their first marriage. The divorce rate for second marriages is higher than for first marriages.
• D. Divorce is hard on both spouses; but especially hard on the wife. Almost all divorced women have a lower standard of living than they had while married.
• E. Most couples would be better off if they stayed married. Studies have shown that 86% of couples who decided to “stick it out” rather than divorce were happy that they did so after five years. Nearly 75% of them went from “very unhappy” to “very happy” with their marriage in the same time frame. Permanent marital unhappiness is very rare among couples who decide to stay together.
• F. Divorce is very hard on the children. In divorce, adults put their own needs and happiness above the needs of their minor children. No self-sacrifice for others. The immature children need a mom and a dad. Single parent homes are not better. Step-parents rarely are better parents than the natural parents.
  This generation, perhaps more than any other in history, has eyes full of adultery. II Peter 2:14. But Proverbs 5:15-18 says you can and should be satisfied with the spouse God gave you. Jesus told us in Matthew 19:6 that God has joined them together. The Apostle Paul commands in I Corinthians 7:10-11: don’t depart from your spouse.

3. Feminism and the Sexual Revolution

The feminist movement and the sexual revolution are a deliberate attack on the nuclear family. It is a satanic attempt to overthrow God’s order. God’s Word says in I Corinthians 11:3 that the husband is the head of the wife. Ephesians 5:23-25 describes a godly home. The feminist agenda has done some good, and provided some equality in areas where the disparity was unjust. But overall, the program has undermined God’s plan for the family home.

The sexual revolution has destroyed more marriages than any other movement in the history of mankind. Adultery and fornication are rampant in our society. The sanctity of marriage is flaunted. Television, fashion designers, advertising and other image-makers glorify sexuality. II Pet 2:14 (again). Perhaps more than any other society before ours, we have eyes full of adultery. Provocative clothing is designed to incite lusts. Women now actually dress in certain ways to display their bodies and cause men to lust after them. But Jesus taught in Matthew 5:28, if you look to lust, you have already committed adultery in your heart. Formerly, prostitutes dressed in a way that identified them. See Proverbs 7:10. But today, lust-inciting attire is no longer just worn by harlots.

Modern society has movies, magazines and websites designed to foster adultery in the heart. We live in a lust-driven world. Today, mankind can commit “virtual adultery.” A man and woman can commit adultery over the phone. Worse yet, a man can commit adultery over a digital image. It isn’t real, it is merely pixels of light, but a man lusts after that electronic image.

Not all adultery and fornication is confined to the hearts. This society is promiscuous. Adultery in the heart is not far from adultery in the flesh. The Decalogue says, thou shalt not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14. Sex outside of marriage is wrong and dangerous. Proverbs 6:24-29. We cannot allow this perverseness to enter the church. Pornography and adultery are sins, and are never right. You cannot ever justify such conduct. Don’t let the devil try to do so. The human mind has an amazing ability to convince itself that something is not wrong – when we know it really is. But there is never any justification for sin.

Sisters, please don’t dress in provocative ways. This includes clothes that cover enough, but are so tight as to leave little to the imagination. What does this say about you if you have a carnal desire to excite men, or if you are not smart enough to know that your attire does excite men.

4. Two-Wage Earner Families

In our affluent society, it is hard to get by without two incomes. Mom needs to work outside the home to pay for the second car, the frequent vacations, the fancy clothes, and the house that is more than Dad can afford on his own. Credit card debt is so high that if Mom didn’t work, bankruptcy would be the only option.

But it shouldn’t be this way. Mom should not be working outside the home when her children are small. Daycare, even babysitting by relatives, is not as good as having Mom there to love and care for her small children. I Timothy 5:14 says that young women are to marry, bear children and guide the home. It is not wrong to have more money; but it is wrong to be chasing more money at the cost of neglecting duties in the home. A woman who has her own career, her own income, her financial independence, oftentimes is tempted to be unsubmissive to her husband. After all, if the wife brings in half of the income, she feels she can control how it is spent. I don’t mean that wives are doormats and the husband is the dictator. But a wife who is the boss on the job is often tempted to be the boss at home. There are a host of temptations and problems resulting from the two-earner home.

The circumstances may be different for a couple with no children, although there was a time when the wife stayed home, even if she wasn’t a mom. She then had time to come over to church and clean, to pray, to keep the house, to volunteer in church or civic activities. But generally, there is nothing wrong with married wives with no small children at home to be working. The concern is the trend in society for moms with kids to be employed outside the home full time. This produces latch-key children, kids raised in day-care, and a lack of the close family unit that God intended.

Perhaps, if her children are in school, she could work “mother’s hours”, but she should be there in the home when the children are home. Years ago, parents began relying on the one-eyed babysitter – the TV. Today it has been supplemented by the internet, video games and cell phone – all to the detriment of the young minds that are in need of being molded into godliness.

Parents can give their children expensive gifts, and they do. Most modern children have so many toys that you can’t walk through their rooms. Were children any less happy and fulfilled years ago when they had only a few toys? But the most important thing a parent can give children is time. Time working together, talking together and playing together is far more valuable than expensive toys and gadgets. Too many children are left to themselves. Proverbs 29:15 warns that they will bring shame to their parents. Read Proverbs 31 if you want to see the ideal setting for the home.

5. Single-Parent Homes

Of course, a single parent home is sometimes unavoidable. Sometimes a spouse dies; other times there is a genuine biblical basis for a divorce. But this situation is never ideal. The rapidly increasing number of single parent homes has helped to undermine the moral foundation of our society. Beyond any reasonable question, it is better to have both mom and dad in the home.

Paul’s writings in Colossians 3:18-21 shows that a family includes mom, dad, and the children. Proverbs 1:8 demonstrates that children need instruction and discipline from both parents. Adam said in Genesis 2:24 that the husband is to cleave to the wife. The Hebrew word is dabaq, meaning to cling or adhere to each other.

In the last 35 years, the number of independent female households has increased by 65%. In the same time, the number of independent male households has increased by 120%. Many of these homes involve a mother trying to raise a family. She has to function as both parents because the father is not around, or only sees his children on scheduled visitations.

Sometimes it is a single dad, but most single parent homes do not have a father. Children grow up without a proper male role model. Children in those homes frequently have problems upon reaching adulthood. They don’t know how to love a spouse, because they haven’t seen their parent love a spouse. Divorce puts the children in the awkward position of pawns in a power play between parents who no longer love each other. Children of divorce often blame themselves for their parents’ failures. You can survive with one parent, just as you can survive with one leg or with one arm, but it is better to have both.

6. The Mass Media

The news agencies – newspapers, the network news, magazines, CNN, and so many others do not just report facts. They shape the consciousness of our society. Most news agencies have determined that conservative Christianity is a threat, that abortion is right, that homosexuality is acceptable, and they are working to inculcate that mindset into society. Movies, TV, blogsites and more are actually changing the views and values of the American society. The media have extraordinary power to alter attitudes and to shape moral sensibilities. Biased in favor of extreme liberal causes, the news and entertainment industry is re-forming this nation it its own image. In Numbers 13:32, reporters brought an evil report and influenced public opinion.

But I am not just talking about newspapers and CNN. I include the music industry here. I know every older generation has condemned the music of the younger generation – it has happened for decades. But nonetheless, the modern music industry promotes filthy language, advocates meaningless sex and violence, and contains counter-pulsating rhythms and beats that promote sensuality and nervous agitation.

The entertainment industry, those prolific producers of TV shows and movies, are re-shaping society. Cohabitation by unmarried couples is presented as normal and acceptable on the large and small screen. The playboy lifestyle is shown to be glamorous and desirable. Graphic violence, nudity, false realities and mind-numbing inane comedies are the daily fare of most Americans. Sure, everybody loves Raymond, but do we want our children growing up thinking Dad is a bumbling idiot, while Mom is the only sensible one in the family?

What effect are video games having? Yes, I know you can play non-violent games like golf and basketball. But how much exercise do you get? We are turning into a nation of couch potatoes with excellent range of motion in our thumbs. And many video games glorify violence, murder, mayhem, and fantasies that are far removed from real life.

7. Addictive Behaviors and Substances

People in today’s society are addicted to all kinds of substances: alcohol, drugs, porn, energy drinks, coffee, etc. Alcohol addiction was present throughout history. Noah got drunk after seeing the devastating effects of the Flood. Proverbs 20:1 says that wine is a mocker, and deceptive. When you are addicted to something, you are the slave and the habit is the master. It is that way with cigarettes, with alcohol, with pornography, with anything.

In I Corinthians 6:12, Paul said he refused to be brought under the power of anything. We are to be submitted slaves of God. No habit should be our master. We have a Master in heaven. No one can serve two masters.

8. The Blurring of the Distinction between the Sexes

From the beginning, God intended a separation between men and women. Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Modern society, however, is constantly blurring the distinction between the sexes – something that has never been done at any time in history. Now, women make up a very important part of our military. Historically, this was not the case. There are women professional wrestlers, etc. It is hard to think of any job that is a man’s job, or one that is a woman’s job.

Today there is little difference in the clothes of men and women. A woman’s pants look much like a man’s pants. Women might wear different colored pants, but the basic shape is the same. Today there is often very little difference in hairstyles. Many times you cannot tell if a person is a man or a woman just by the length of their hair. And you cannot always tell by their actions. There are effeminate men and masculine women. It has not been this way at any point in human history. And of course, for the first time in American history, several American states now recognize homosexual marriage.

What does the Bible say? Deuteronomy 22:5 requires a distinction between the sexes based upon apparel. I Corinthians 11:14-15 requires a distinction based upon hair length. And I Corinthians 6:9 requires a distinction based upon masculine/effeminate actions.

9. Godless Public Education

In the early 1960s, the U.S. Supreme Court outlawed prayer, and then Bible-reading in the public schools. Since that time, it seems that the public school system has become the cage of every unclean and hateful bird. Public morality has been undermined by the teaching of sex education, the promotion of homosexuality as an alternate lifestyle, the faith-destroying theory of evolution, and more. Public schools have been used to indoctrinate the children of America in godless attitudes, and the results have not been good.

Compare the attitudes, generally, of high school graduates from the 1950s and mid-1960s to those of today. Which group was more polite? Which was more respectful of the person and property of others? Which has more faith? Which has more drug problems, teenaged alcohol consumption, and unmarried sex? Public education has produced the type of generation that is soundly condemned in Proverbs 30:11-14.

The Christian school movement, and home schooling for those parents who can’t afford a Christian school, arose in response to the godlessness of public education. Children need a good education to survive in this society. Throughout history, schools were established to provide education. David wrote in Psalms 119 that he had more understanding than all his teachers. Paul wrote of tutors and governors. Jesus likely went to school at the synagogue in Nazareth. Churches established the first schools in America.

Public education started as a benefactor to parents over 100 years ago. The government taxed parents to pay for teachers and buildings. It all seemed so good at first, but the lamb-like system grew up to be a dragon. Now it devours children, and warps them into young adults who have been indoctrinated into pre-determined thought patterns.

10. An Extraordinarily Affluent Society

Our society has been affected by our extraordinary affluence. The poorest among us is profoundly rich by the standard of history. Kings of old could not imagine the luxury of electricity, running water, refrigerators, microwaves, full pantries, central heat and air conditioning, modern healthcare, and such. The possession of “things” is the modern panacea. Americans tend to believe that owning more goods and toys is the sure route to happiness. But there are dangers.

Deuteronomy 6:10-13 provides a warning of the danger of prosperity; you might forget God. See also Deuteronomy 8:7-14 and Proverbs 30:8-9. Our Savior taught that life does not consist of possessions. Luke 12:15. James 4:2-4 says, don’t seek things to consume in your fleshly desires.

Covetousness is a violation of the Tenth Commandment. But covetousness can creep into the church. I Timothy 6:5-6 declares that gain is not godliness. Ecclesiastes 4:6 establishes the truth that little, with peace, is better than lots, with trouble. “Things” will not satisfy. Ecclesiastes 5:10. Acquisitions, devices, gadgets, fine clothes, homes and cars will not give peace of mind. True peace only comes through your relationship with the Prince of Peace.

11. Narcissism

This is a “me” generation. Christians need to be reminded that life is not all about us; instead it is all about Jesus Christ. He is the Master; we are the servants. We are not to be the center of our own universe. But the perverseness of our society centers on pleasing ourselves.

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was the stunningly handsome son of a river goddess who fell hopelessly in love with his own beautiful face as he saw it reflected in a pool. As he gazed in fascination, unable to remove himself from his image, he gradually pined away until he starved to death. Since then, a person in love with himself has been called a Narcissist.

II Timothy 3:2 warns that in the last days, men shall be lovers of their own selves. They will be narcissists. This world is very narcissistic. It has undermined the moral fabric of society. Self-sacrifice is not considered a virtue. Everybody is out for themselves. No one sacrifices for the good of others. Even parents draw back from sacrificing for the good of their children. Spouses won’t sacrifice for the good of the marriage. “What’s in it for me” is the mantra of the modern generation. This is seen even in all the blogging, twitter, etc. People cannot stop talking about themselves. They want everyone to know all about them and their lives. I realize blogging and twitter can be used for noble purposes, and I am not condemning that. I am against the narcissistic idea that everybody needs to know what you are doing all the time.

There is so much idolatry in our world. That idea may seem strange, but modern society is full of idolatry. Maybe we don’t worship statues and pagan deities, but we might think we are cool, popular, or acceptable, if we wear certain designer labels on our clothes. Movie heroes, sports stars, and even dead saints like Michael Jackson are the idols of the current world. Colossians 3:5 says that self-centeredness is idolatry. This generation is probably the most self-centered society the world has ever seen. Such a focus on ourselves, not caring about others, is a form of idolatry.

Charity cares for others; self-love (narcissism) is all about gratifying our own desires. Our society’s massive personal debt is a testimony to self-obsession. We buy what we cannot afford, because we want it and we are unable to deny ourselves. The billions spent each year on cosmetics, designer clothing, entertainment, and other nonessentials is further proof of our self-obsessed age. We have become as self-obsessed as Nabal. See I Samuel 25:11.

Remember, it is not all about you; it is all about Him. If you approach life with a “what’s in it for me?” attitude, you will never find the peace and contentment you are looking for. Satan offered the crown without the cross to Jesus. Jesus wisely rejected the offer. Anyone who expects blessings without suffering is falling to the devil’s tactics. But if we suffer for Him, we will reign with Him. II Timothy 2:12. Our greatest blessings come through service. Peace is not found in things; but true contentment comes from being useful and helpful. Galatians 5:13 says, by love, serve one another.

12. Rebellious Independence/ Individualism

It seems that no one wants to “bend and blend” anymore. Especially among the younger generation, blending is not cool; standing out as an individual is much more cool. People are unwilling to compromise (which can be good or can be bad). They do not want to change. They are convinced that they are ok as they are, and refuse to believe they really need to make significant changes in their lives and their world-view. Like the evil people mentioned in Psalms 55:19, they have no changes.

For many years, adults have been worried that young Christians would stray from the straight and narrow path because of “peer pressure”. That’s not as big of an issue with the emergent generation (those under 30 years of age). They are relatively immune to peer pressure – for good or evil. Their psyche tells them its ok to be different. It’s cool to stand out. Nobody has the right to influence you to dress or to act in a certain way.

There is a certain obstinacy that has been embraced by society. We honor those who go against the norm, who march to the beat of a different drummer. People make an individualistic statement by their lifestyle – how they dress, how they act, etc. You see it in multiple tattoos and excessive body piercings. You see it in the Gothic dress and make-up of many young people, etc.

This individualism is not good. It goes too far. People are not willing to commit themselves to a goal, to build a dream, to further the work of the Lord. They aren’t even willing to commit to a marriage. The median age for a first marriage in 1970 was 21 years old for women and 23 years old for men. Today it is 26 for women and 28 for men – the highest it has been since the US Census Bureau was been keeping records.

People are already very individualistic and “set in their ways” by the time they get married. They promise till death do us part, but they aren’t committed. When trouble comes, as it always does in marriage, they cut and run. Space limitations forbid the quoting of many scriptures, but this attitude is damaging. We need to lose our independence because we are forming a body. Romans 10:12 says, in honor, preferring one another. And I Corinthians 12:12 speaks of many members; but only one body.

We are not to succumb to the evils of the society around us. Israel did during the time of the judges and kings. The devil paints the world in vivid, enticing colors. But it is all an allusion. In reality, the world is dull and drab, and wicked and cruel. We must focus on serving the Lord.

The economy, the political system, crime and terrorism, the moral decline of society, the threat or reality of unemployment, marital discord, illnesses, raising children, and so many other stressors pressure us every day. These conditions cause people to become tense. It is hard to relax or find a way to get any good rest. The soul becomes disquieted. There is no peace. Modern people, even many blood-bought, Spirit-filled Christians, are “stressed”.

How can you live a life free of stress? I believe I can give you the secret. Whether you implement this secret strategy or not is up to you. But God’s good people, in the Body of Christ, are entitled to the knowledge that will lead to a life free of stress. The word “stress” does not appear in the Bible. It is a word used today to describe the mental or emotional tension we experience because of the hardships of life. Biblical terms with similar meaning would be “anxiety,” “fear,” “anger,” “despair,” and “guilt”.

We must understand what “stress” really is. It is not the same thing as the pressures or hardships of life. Stress is not even caused by the pressures of life. Stress is the biophysical reaction to the pressures of life. Stress only occurs when we react to the pressures of life in an unbiblical manner. If our responses were biblical, there would be no stress.

Paul and Silas had no stress in a Philippian jail. Their stress-free response to pressure resulted in the conversion of their jailor. The Hebrews who were about to be thrown into a fiery furnace were not stressed. Their response impressed the King of Babylon. True champions of the faith have faced adversity, sickness, and suffering with no stress. Were the heroes of the faith any different than you and me? Or did they have something we can also possess, which will teach us how to live a stress-free life?

We can do very little about the pressures of life. Yes, there are some things we can do to relieve the pressure, but despite our best efforts, there will be pressures and stressors in this life. But an appropriate biblical response will preclude any real stress. Why? Because a Christian is at peace, even when in distress. Paul wrote in II Corinthians 4:8 that he was troubled, but not distressed; perplexed, but not in despair. And he said in Philippians 4:4 that he was always rejoicing – in every situation.

It is our duty and our privilege to rejoice in the God of our salvation, and to rejoice in Him always; at all times; in all situations. Even when we suffer for His name’s sake, we rejoice. Even when we are afflicted by Him, we rejoice. In good times and in bad times, in tranquility and in great distress, we rejoice in the Lord. Philippians 4:7 speaks of a peace beyond understanding that will keep your heart and mind. The “heart” here is the emotions; the “mind” is the rational thinking process. Stress can lead the emotions into a panic and can lead the rational mind into despair. The peace of God will keep us from sinking under our troubles, and sinning as a result of them. It provides a calm assurance, a blessed assurance, in every condition.

This is why Isaiah 26:3 refers to “perfect” (complete) peace, and Romans 8:28 says we know all things work together for our good. Godly peace is the antithesis of stress. Pressure will always come. It is the result of the curse. But the peace of God banishes stress. The secret to stress-free living begins with trusting God in the midst of pressure. Maybe we shouldn’t pray that God would remove the pressure, as much as we should ask for grace and strength to face the pressure. Our goal in this life is not a life free of all pressures; our goal is to learn to depend on God and to please Him in every situation.

The promise of Proverbs 1:33 is that if we hearken to the Lord, we will be quiet from fear of evil. That is a powerful promise; not just safe from evil but quiet from the fear of it. Three times in Psalms 42 and 43, David asks why he has allowed his soul to become disquieted. It is not right for a child of God to allow his calm to be disquieted. The message of Psalms 46:1-7 is: no fear; thus, no stress. The secret to a stress-free life is to respond biblically to the pressures of life. So why are you stressed-out? God’s grace includes the ability to live free from stress.

One of those positive outcomes has been that Americans are spending less and saving more. In fact, many economists are concerned that we may never return to the levels of consumer spending that we saw just a few years ago. However, I am not nearly as optimistic. America is a nation of consumers and it’s not likely that even the worst recession since the Great Depression will change our spending habits for long. However, it seems that at least in the short term we have shifted our focus from spending to saving.

The average personal savings rate has climbed from 1% at the beginning of 2008 to its current level of slightly more than 3%. That’s certainly an improvement on the negative savings rate that we saw in 2005, when the average American was spending more than they earned. However, that’s still a far cry from the recommended 10-20% savings rates.

Unfortunately, the lack of strong savings habits has further compounded the negative effects of the current recession. Over the past two years, many of the individuals who have lost their jobs or have seen their incomes reduced had minimal savings to fall back on. The failure to save a sufficient portion of their income during the years of prosperity has come back to haunt them as they try to survive this recession.

I believe that the words of Solomon, while uttered 3,000 years ago, are still relevant today, “there is treasure to be desired and oil in the dwelling of the wise; but a foolish man spendeth it up.” Proverbs 21:20.

So how much of your income should you be saving?

The traditional rule of thumb is to save at least 10% of your income. Obviously this will vary based on many factors, but it’s important to establish a pattern of savings while you are young and then as your income increases you can save even more.

Simply saving whatever is left over at the end of each month is never a good idea, because typically nothing is. A better way to save is to have a certain amount or percentage of your paycheck automatically deposited into a savings account on a regular basis. This way you won’t have to make a decision whether or not to save money each month, because it’s already being done for you.

In order to benefit from a regular savings program, it’s good to have a savings strategy.

Emergency Fund

The first step should be to create an emergency fund for the unplanned, true emergencies that you may encounter. This would typically be $1,000 – $2,000 set aside in a savings account that you can easily get to.

Cash Stash

No matter how much you plan and prepare, there are always expenses that arrive that you didn’t account for. These may not be true emergency items that you would tap your emergency fund for, but they are still expenses that you can’t ignore. Having cash in a savings account that you can draw on will allow you to handle these expenses without incurring the ridiculous interest rates that come from using credit cards.

Safety Net

The third step will be to build out a savings nest that would allow you to survive for 6-9 months in case of a job loss or other major catastrophe. Just a couple of years ago, it seemed like unemployment was a non-issue with the official unemployment rate at 4.4%. Now the unemployment rate has spiked to 10.2% and it’s taking an average of 6 ½ months for unemployed workers to find a new job. If this recession has taught us anything it’s that the prudent man should be prepared.

Retirement Fund

The fourth step in your saving plan should be to invest for your future. Almost everyone has dreams of retirement, but simply relying on Social Security probably won’t allow you to live the lifestyle that you envisioned. While very few companies offer pensions any more, many do offer 401k plans that you can take advantage of. Many of these plans offer company matches on the amount that you contribute. A typical plan includes a 50% company match up to a certain contribution level. This allows you to instantly earn a 50% return on your investment while increasing the total percentage of your income being saved.

In addition to taking advantage of your company’s 401k plan, you should also consider further savings options. Setting up an individual retirement account (IRA) allows you to have greater control over your investment options and further increases your savings rate.

These are simply some of the basics to help you develop an effective savings plan. From here, you could set up further savings options for a vacation fund, college fund, Christmas fund, etc. While many people will soon return to their free spending ways and neglect their savings, the wise individuals will learn from the experiences of this recession and will be better prepared for the next one.

We are a holiness people. There are many facets to holiness. In this series of articles we will be addressing holiness in marriage.

So many marriages are in trouble. Divorce rates are high, even among conservative Christians. God said in Malachi 2:16 that He hates divorce. His law makes provision for it, because of sin. But it is never ideal. It is a means out of a very wicked situation. Yet most divorces in this country are not biblical. People leave because they are not happy.

Yet marriages typically start out happy. The ceremony is joyous. The honeymoon phase is exciting. Newlyweds discover how wonderful it is to set up house, to share, to dream, to scrimp and save. But somewhere down the road, maybe 3 or 5 years, there are disappointments, disagreements, arguments, and such.

In the storybooks and the movies the couple lives happily ever after. But at some point, virtually every married couple discovers they really aren’t very happy. Now they face a crisis. They have been taught that marriage is supposed to be a happy state, but they are not happy. What should they do? Is happiness the goal? Are we supposed to be happy in our marriage? Every day? Most days? Some days? What if we are not happy? What if there are more days that we are not happy than days that are happy days in our marriage?

Our entire purpose and reason for living is to bring glory to God. Does anyone doubt the truth of that statement? We were born to serve the Lord. Let us fix that concept in our minds: we exist to glorify God. I Corinthians 6:20 says we are a bought slave; so we should glorify God in our body and spirit. In John 21:18-19, we learn that by our death to self, we glorify God.

So, if our lives are to bring glory to God, what is the ultimate aim of marriage? Is it procreation? Companionship? Sex? Happiness? What if the ultimate purpose for marriage is not happiness, but rather holiness? We speak of holy matrimony. Jesus said that what God has joined together, let not man part asunder. Matthew 19:6. Children of a godly marriage are holy children; Paul said so in I Corinthians 7:14. God instituted marriage in the Garden of Eden. It is something He gave to mankind. Why did He do it? What if God gave us marriage to make us holy, more than to make us happy?

Romantic love, the stuff of cheap novels and Hollywood movies, was unknown to most of history. There were exceptions, especially among God’s people, but romantic love developed late in the history of mankind. Marriages were for reasons other than love. Song of Solomon provides proof of real love between a husband and wife among the people of God, but that was the exception. Ancient Greeks, Babylonians, Egyptians, Hittites, Romans, barbarians, Goths, nor any other people, married for love. Yet modern Americans believe there can be no marriage without love.

I think it is possible to be deeply, passionately in love with your spouse. Just don’t make the mistake of confusing love with romance. Love can be constant; romance is temporary and fleeting. But if the vital ingredient of love is missing, the marriage is not necessarily over. Do not divorce because you aren’t in love. Let’s look deeply into the Word of God to see what our Lord and Master has to say about the holy estate of matrimony.

Marriage among Christians is supposed to reflect the glory of God. While marriage is very real, it is also highly symbolic. Holy matrimony is a very visible symbol of the relationship between God and His people. Before we can really address how to improve our marriages, we need to all understand the great symbolism our marriages are supposed to demonstrate. Whether we are married or single, we need to understand this point. The Apostle Paul was unmarried, but he understood this important symbol perfectly well.

Hosea 2:16 says, “And it shall be at that day, saith the LORD, that thou shalt call me Ishi; and shalt call me no more Baali.” The center column reference in most Bibles will say that “Ishi” means “my husband;” and that “Baali” means “my master.” Speaking to Israel, God said they would call Him their husband instead of their master. Verse 19 explains why: “I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.”

There is a big difference between “husband” and “master.” The relationship between God and His people is not one based on fear, and force; but one based upon love, intimacy, trust, loyalty, etc. God wants a relationship like that of a husband and wife; and not like that of a master and slave. How do you view God – as master or as husband?

Isaiah 62:5 tells us that God rejoices over His people like a husband over a bride. In Matthew 9:15, Jesus is described as a bridegroom. I know the bride of Christ is a limited company of 144,000 overcomers, but in some respects, the entire body of Christ is like a bride. This is seen in Revelation 12:1, where the church is a woman, a married woman who is pregnant. In Isaiah 54:1, the church is the married wife.

At one time, God was the spiritual husband of Israel. But in Jeremiah 3:8, we see that God divorced Israel because of her spiritual adultery. When speaking to backslidden Israel in Mark 8:38, Jesus deliberately used “adulterous” to describe them – not because of sexual adultery; but spiritual adultery. The Lord expected a relationship of fidelity and trust between Himself and Israel. But the natural Jews played the harlot spiritually, and He divorced her. He is now married to the church, at least in a symbolic sense.

Why is this important? Because our marriage as members of the church is supposed to demonstrate the relationship between Christ and the church. This is why Paul said after writing about marriage in Ephesians 5:32: “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” Paul’s writing in Ephesians 5:22-33 demonstrates this relationship between marriage, and Christ and His church.

This is not just an interesting analogy. If you really want to understand how your marriage, or any marriage, is to bring glory to God, you must comprehend this point. God did not create marriage just to give us a pleasant way to populate the earth. Marriage is to point to the loving, caring and close relationship that God wants to have with His own chosen people.

So, does every marriage in this church showcase the loving relationship between Jesus Christ and His own ransomed church? Sadly, no. But our marriages, in the body of Christ, should.

In this and the next few issues of this Newsletter, we will explore marriage, not as just a license for sexual relations, not as just a means to produce offspring, and not as just a vehicle for romance; but as it teaches the world about the love of God. We can either explore God through marriage, or we can emphasize where our spouses are falling short. I’d rather focus on the important principle God wants to be seen in Christian marriage. Let’s not miss the important lessons about our God and His love that we can learn through the divine institution of marriage.

According to II Corinthians 5:9, our goal in everything is to please Him. This concept is unique to true Christians. If you asked 100 random people on the street what their goal in life is, you’d get an amazing array of answers. But for a child of God, the only clear answer is an overwhelming, passionate, driving desire to please God. It wasn’t just Paul’s consuming ambition; he said “we.” It is to be all of our ambitions to please God.

Since this overriding principle applies in every aspect of our lives, then the number one purpose or goal of our marriage is to please God. That is more important than our own happiness, or fulfillment, or sexual pleasure, or raising a family. Some people make their children the central focus of their life; but it isn’t. Pleasing God is. Some make their career or profession the central theme of their life; but it isn’t. Pleasing God is.

The Bible teaches that we don’t live for ourselves; we live for God. “And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.” II Corinthians 5:15. Verses 18-20 state that the ultimate purpose of Christ, and us, is reconciliation between God and man.

That is an amazing concept. Jesus Christ died to reconcile us to God. But He has given to us the ministry of reconciliation. What does that mean, and how does that relate to our marriage? The message of reconciliation is the good news of peace and goodwill. We can’t portray that message in our lives if our marriages are a mess. A godly marriage displays the love and reconciliation that is available through the Gospel.

Mankind has the wrong concept of marriage. They feel they should stay together as long as they are happy, and their comforts, desires and expectations are met. If those things are absent, they feel they can separate and divorce, so they can seek those things outside of their marriage. True Christians stay in a marriage because it brings glory to God and points the world toward a reconciling Savior.

Our marriage cannot contradict our message. We are living epistles. We are witnesses of the reconciling power of God. Staying in a marriage through good times and bad times helps to burnish our witness. If my marriage fails, then I have failed to bring glory to God, and to enhance my testimony to the world. A godly marriage is a dramatic display of the reconciling power of God. If Jesus Christ can bring together sinners and a sinless God, surely Christian marriage can bring together two people of different makeup and backgrounds.

What is our message if we tell the world by divorce and separation that we have decided to stop loving someone? We stopped loving them because, by our standard, they are bad, and not measuring up to our expectations. Would Jesus do that to His church? What is the message when we refuse to serve another person as our spouse? What is our message if we break the solemn vows we made before God at a wedding altar? How can we tell others that God’s promises are secure, when our own promises to love and cherish till death are no good? How can we be the heralds of a coming age of peace, love and tranquility when our personal lives reflect enmity, anger, strife, and separation?

The Word says in Malachi 2:16 that God hates divorce. See verses 14-15. There are true biblical grounds for divorce in limited cases, but we are not dealing with those exceptions to the rule here. We are just presenting the general rule now. There will be another time to present true biblical grounds that apply in rare cases and justify one party seeking to divorce the other – but remember, that is because of sin. Divorce means that one party, and maybe both, have chosen not to live up to the Gospel, and have succumbed to sin. Nothing in a divorce brings glory to God.

Spouses keep their marriage intact for many reasons. One good reason is because staying together will make them happy. That is true in the overwhelming majority of cases. Couples who stick it out for the long haul typically end up happy that they did so after the passing of the years. Statistics show that more than three-fourths of the couples who were very unhappy moved to happy after five years of sticking together. So that is a good reason to stay in a marriage. But it isn’t the best or the most important reason.

Divorce is particularly hard on the children. Children of a stable, two-parent home are far better off than those shuttled back and forth in a custody arrangement, or who are with a single parent, or who are thrust into a situation involving step-parents. So keeping a marriage intact in order to provide a good stable environment for the children is a good reason. But it isn’t the best or the most important reason.

Some spouses keep their marriage intact because they don’t want to force their spouse to have to start over. Women, especially, take an economic hit in divorce. That is a good reason. But it isn’t the best or the most important reason. You can probably think of other reasons.

By far the best, and clearly the most important reason to stay in a marriage is because that is your Christian duty. If you live to glorify God, if your life is a testimony to the grace of God, if you see every aspect of your life as a means to proclaim the message, then you cannot divorce your spouse. Marriages based on this sacred principle are stronger than those based on happiness. Happiness will come, but it isn’t there all the time. If the success of your marriage is based on whether you are happy or not, then there will be many times when you are tempted to destroy that marriage. But if it is based on commitment, and living in a way that brings glory to God, then your marriage is strong enough to withstand almost any storm.

You would think we’d know better. Every one of us has been tempted by sin, and resisted sin, many times. But even those considered to have been great Christians have fallen prey to sins that they should have resisted and overcome. It is sad when the name of Christ is drug through the mud because someone who should have known better fell into diverse lusts, temptations and sins.

Preachers can wax almost poetic in calling sinners to repentance. The God of mercy can extend forgiveness to those who have fallen into failure and shame. But do not wait until then to call on God. We need to be prepared today to resist the temptations that will come to us. The time to defeat sin is before you fall into sin.

You need to constantly renew your zeal and commitment to serving God. Every great saint of God has had one thing in common. Whether you talk of Abraham, David, Elijah, Peter, Paul or William Sowders, they all had one key ingredient in their lives: They all were intoxicated with the holiness of God, and were consumed with a desire to know Him. Paul expressed his longing in Philippians 3:10, “that I may know Him.” (He said he wanted to win Him in verse 8; be found in Him in verse 9; and know Him in verse 10.) Our only hope of spiritual success is to re-kindle and to maintain our passionate zeal for God. Our heart must pant for God. See Psalms 42:1-2.

Just because you are God’s purchased child, and have the baptism of the Holy Ghost, does not mean you will make the right decisions and wise choices. We do not naturally gravitate to that which is godly and holy. There is still a sinful nature in us, and we are still tempted by our adversary to choose wickedness and evil.

We make choices daily. Those choices will either lead us closer to the Lord or they will lead us further away from Him. We choose whether to attend church services. We choose whether to yield to temptation. We are not immune. You have made many wonderful and right choices in your life, and declared your commitment to the Lord repeatedly. Those decisions are the reason you are serving God today. They have brought you to where you are in the Lord. But tomorrow, you could make a foolish choice that would wreck all that has been, and all that might have been.

That is why I Corinthians 10:12 warns us that even if you stand, take heed lest you fall. We must not only fix our heart on God, Psalms 108:1, but we also need to daily maintain that godly fixation. Remember that David had a heart fixed on God, but still yielded to temptation in the matter of Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba. A false sense of security fosters an inviting vulnerability to temptation and sin. Don’t rest in the fact that you have served God for years, that you know the doctrines, or that you are a pretty good person. You need daily convictions about living right, doing right, and being right with God.

As ministers, we strive to see to it that each member of this body develops a close relationship with God. As our world grows more wicked and perverse, the task is increasingly difficult. Temptation is pervasive. Today, even the radio spews lewd, suggestive and filthy music and words. The telephone is now used for obscenity, such as datelines, and even sexting. Television and movies are reaching new lows in their promotion of immorality and sin. The computer, which nearly all of us have, is a channel by which hearts and minds can be influenced by sin.

James 1:14 declares how easy it is to be drawn away, and enticed into sin. In today’s world, sin can be done so easily and so privately. We are tempted to believe no one knows, and no one will ever find out. Sin can be done anonymously and secretly. But God knows. And you cannot cover your sins and prosper. The Bible says in Numbers 32:23, be sure your sin will find you out.

Yet there is a remedy. God has a way to help us cleanse our hearts of the sin that resides there; and can give us strength to resist temptations for the sins of today and tomorrow. But remember, you got into those sins because of your choices. And I am telling God’s people today not to make those choices in the first place. It is better to prevent sin, than to repent from committed sin.

You can ruin your life, ruin the lives of your loved ones, and wreck your relationship with God by “choosing” sin in a moment of weakness. You can give in to the lusts of the flesh, the lusts of the eyes, and the pride of life, and open your mind to sin. Jesus said in Luke 9:23 that we are to take up the cross – daily. That word, “daily,” is very significant. Taking up the cross is a constant, ongoing action. It is not something done once at the altar. It is a present duty. You are to take up the cross today. You may have borne it yesterday, and for months and years; but you must pick it up again today! Strive against sin, again and again, continually and constantly.

So how can we get our heart right? How can we develop this relationship with the Lord? How can we be consistent and constant in our vigilance and determination to be God’s holy people? The answer is in Colossians 3:1-3. We must seek a closer relationship with the Lord.

These verses are very important. We seek this relationship in many ways. You cannot have a relationship with someone if you never communicate with them. We talk to the Lord in prayer. I can cite you a hundred scriptures on this point, but you already know that you need a strong, frequent prayer life. Personal prayer is perhaps more important than the public prayer. Pray; pray more.

Next, you need to hear the Lord talk to you. This is most common in times of meditation. When the radio or TV is blaring, when you have the IPod on, when you are busy bustling about from here to there, you probably couldn’t hear the Lord if He shouted. In quiet meditation, thinking about your life, and the things of God, you might learn how to hear His voice. It isn’t always in the storm, or the earthquake, but it is often a still small voice.

Then, you need to read the Bible. God is revealed in His Word. If you want to know Him, read His book! You can better understand the Lord when you learn how He thinks. That is all in the Bible.

Finally, make right choices. Note that Paul said to the Colossians to “set” your affection on things above. It means that this is a deliberate choice you make. You can set your affection on the Lord, or on things of this world. You choose. God doesn’t make that choice for you. You have to direct your mind in the right way. Decisions are not to be made based on feelings or emotions. Decisions are made according to principles and the emotions follow.

We learn in Romans 12:1-2 that it is by the renewing of your mind that you can prove what is God’s good and acceptable and perfect will. This only happens after you present your body as a holy sacrifice. As we yield to Him, choosing to be committed to His will and way, we change our thoughts. Our minds can be radically changed – transformed – to understand and know God’s will.

This will only happen if we crucify the flesh, and die daily. It will only happen if we set our affection on things above. This transformation does not happen in a cocoon like a sleeping caterpillar; we must be conscious throughout the entire process. Our minds are transformed by a series of choices, made daily, to serve the Lord and to resist the devil. If you are struggling; if temptation beckons; call on the Lord today. He will give you strength. In Him, you will find perfect rest and peace. He will satisfy your longings, and will banish your desires for wickedness.