What is love and romance? Love should be the unconditional desire to fulfill the needs of your spouse; love must be given to your spouse. John 3:16 tells us that God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son. This tells us that love is not love until it is given to someone.

Love and romance aren’t totally dependent upon intimacy, although it is a good portion of it. I Corinthians 7:3-5 explains this in good detail. “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”

Love is acquired over time through a mutual understanding of each other. When you meet the person you want to be your spouse you think you are in love with them; but you are not – you are just physically attracted to them. Love is demonstrated by your actions. Telling your spouse that you love them without the proper actions will not mean anything to them. But daily telling them that you love them is important. Let us look at some actions that demonstrate love to a spouse.

1.  After every meal kiss your spouse and tell them you enjoyed the meal. If the other prepared the meal, thank them. If the wife cooked, perhaps the husband should do the dishes – as a demonstration of appreciation.

2.  Always open the car door for your wife or the girl you are dating. There are exceptions as you age or develop physical problems. But if the young man doesn’t open the car door – then forget him.

3.  You must be a good listener. Many times your wife will want to talk over her problems, just at the time you don’t want to talk. Wives need to listen carefully whenever their husbands need to talk.

4.  When you walk past him (or her) sitting in a chair, give him a pat or wink at him – just to let him know you are aware of his presence.

5.  If she is discussing something with you that you are wrong – admit it. Don’t be arrogant and keep insisting or insinuating that you are right. Just admit you are wrong. Guess what? Nine times out of ten she already knows it anyway. Admitting you are wrong elevates you in her mind.

6.  Some husbands think that they are the head of the house to the point of being dictatorial. Many times the husband must be subservient to the wife. Christ is a servant to the church. How important is the issue? If the decision isn’t critical, go ahead and agree with your wife. You will increase her love and respect for you because she knows that you care about her feelings.

7.  Families with children, they watch how the husband and wife treat each other. You are teaching your children how to be a good husband or a good wife when they get married.

8.  If the wife does not work outside the home, she needs to know if the husband is going to be late. She may have prepared a nice meal, and it can be ruined because you failed to let her know you would be late.

9.  No one or no thing should be allowed to come between a husband and a wife. They should be number one to each other. When problems arise, they must stick together and solve the problem from the viewpoint of “us” and not “me.”

10.  Husbands, make sure your wife’s car has gas and the oil changed. I don’t think a wife should have to get her own gas.

11.  Don’t hold on to a grudge. A grudge is the heaviest thing on earth; and no one is strong enough to keep carrying one. Ephesians 4:32: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:2: “With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love.”

12.  Never go to bed angry. Ephesians 4:26.

13.  Live within your means. Always talk over your large purchases. Pay and wait, do not jump into purchasing something without both of you agreeing it is necessary.

14.  Pray together, and also have your own time to pray.

As you can see, most of these suggestions are just good common sense. If you feel you lack good common sense, then use your Bible and read every scripture on love. Also get a good Christian book on marriage. Remember you made a vow on your wedding day and you must not break that vow.

Tags: keeping the romance, love, love and romance, marriage, romance, romance in marriage, unconditional desire