A Mother’s Experience

As I sit here, the more I realize that being a parent is a lot harder than it looks. “Why,” I asked myself many times, “did I ever think having children and then raising them would be so easy?” It’s always easy to look at other parents and say, “If that child was mine, it wouldn’t be doing…” Wait until the day you become a parent, then your thinking changes to some degree. You start to see that parenting is a road of many experiences. When I became a parent the realization finally struck home.

These are not really mine, but they were given to me by God as an heritage from Him. Train up a child – Hmm….this means I really do have more a responsibility than JUST bringing a child into this world. I’m to teach these children right from wrong, teach them to love the Lord with ALL their heart, to serve Him faithfully, and when they are old they will not depart from the Lord. Proverbs 22:6.

Training up a child is not just teaching them how to pick up after themselves or how to dress themselves or how to use the bathroom alone. Teaching a child takes a LOT of time and patience. Teaching them how to respect and honor those who have the rule over them such as parents, teachers, pastors and most of all our Savior. Once these are instilled into a child’s life, then life itself becomes a much easier road to walk for him or her. Parents are the most important teacher in a child’s life from the time they are born. A child learns from the parents how to be faithful in church and any functions that they are in. They learn that the more time given to the work of the Lord and in Bible reading and prayer, the more peace you have in your heart. The blessings will overtake you. You can never out give God. He has always been faithful to us through blessings and letting us know He’s with us when the valleys seem so deep.

Implementing God’s principles is so important. From these principles their life becomes easier when their tests and trials start coming. Yes, I have three wonderful children, and yes, I haven’t always done everything right. Many times I would raise my voice at them instead of sitting them down and talking to them or saying, “No” when asked if they could so something, without giving them an explanation as to why they couldn’t. There are so many things a parent can do wrong in the heat of anger or on the spur of the moment, but the most important thing is, when you calm down and re-evaluate what just happened, that’s when you explain to your child why you answered the way you did and then repent to them. This teaches that child that even when a mistake is made there is always room for repentance. It also causes the child to feel the need to repent when a mistake is made, and it doesn’t cause them to feel like they are not good enough that they can’t rise above their mistakes.

There will even be times when you feel the need to fall on your knees before God and ask for help. Let your child hear and maybe even see you pray. This will let them know that it’s okay to pray for our needs in life, and then watch as God starts working in that young and tender heart – wooing them to draw closer to Him.

As my own children grow older, there have been many times when I have heard them in their room praying asking the Lord to help them in the trial they are experiencing at that time. I have found that Mom and Dad can’t always protect them, and believe me, this is the hardest lesson to learn as a parent; to step back and let God work in your child’s life. We want to shelter them from making mistakes, but mistakes they will make even though you as a parent tell them and show them the consequences of such mistakes. Pray for your children ALWAYS, and let God do the work in their lives that He needs to do.

Several years back, my oldest daughter came to me (she was ten at the time) and asked the question, “Mom, can I get my ears pierced?” This caught me off guard. So what was my response? Dead silence. My mind was starting to work in overdrive. I looked at her, and only God could have given me the right words to say, and said to her, “Sweetheart, God didn’t give me, as your Mother, permission to put holes in your ears, nor were you born with them. So as you grow up, not only naturally, but also spiritually, and your walk with God is so strong that nothing will come between you and the Lord, and if you decide you still want your ears pierced, then go ahead. If I do something now in your young life that God would not approve of then I will be doing you an injustice and possibly open doors that God doesn’t want you to go through.” She accepted this answer with a response of, “Okay, Mom.” Your answers can affect your child’s thinking now, and in the future.

Believe me, telling your child they can’t do something even though it may not be wrong or sinful is so hard, but remember when you do give in and let them do or have something, ask yourself what long term effect will this situation have on them and their walk with Christ. Your child may get mad, I mean really mad at you, but even as they calm down and time passes they will even love and respect you more for the decision you made – later in their own life.

Another experience my husband and I had was with our son. He had been talking to his father and me about getting into self-defense, and gradually he wanted to get even deeper into martial arts. At first we were not for this. “Why?” was our question to him. His explanation was for self-protection and basically self-esteem. “To make me feel better about myself,” he said. As parents we didn’t have a problem with this endeavor. We told him to pray about it. He and his father even checked out a place. To let you see how God once again will work in your child’s life, if you let Him, one Wednesday, our son was helping his father clean out the gutters on the house. When the job was done, down comes Dad off the roof. The ladder seemed pretty solid. Then as Christopher steps onto the top rung of the ladder, the whole thing came crashing to the deck, ladder and son both, breaking both wrists, one severely. Rushing to the emergency room, my son looked at me in his pain and said, “Mom, God doesn’t want me to get involved in self-defense.” Realizing once again that God is in control, I told him, “You know, God wants us to learn to trust Him to protect us.” His wrists have since healed, but that experience will stay with him forever.

As my youngest daughter gets older, her experiences will come. Right now, she is, what you might say, still under Mom’s wing and not ready to venture out, but one day she will and I hope that with each experience she goes through or with each decision she makes, God will work in her life.

There have been many more tests that we’ve gone through since these, but my children and I find ourselves turning to the Lord more frequently for the answers. So you see, being a parent does have its ups and downs. Most of all if you or I do our best to point our children in God’s direction, then God will always work in their life. Yes, mistakes are made and will be made, but remember God knew we weren’t perfect, but gave us charge over these precious gifts. Being a parent is one, just one, of life’s most rewarding experiences. The most wonderful experience is to serve the Lord and then watch Him work in your life and the lives of your children. Always remember to tell your children how much you love them (unconditionally).

P.S. Thank you, Mom, for being a Godly example for me. Now that I am a mother, I too, am able to be the same example for my children.